An old friend: A sermon revisited

I'm not sure that pain can become a friend, but faith and hope are often developed during painful times.
Faith and Hope? Well, they are definitely friends of mine. We got to know each other very well during my first bout with infertility. They are loyal, committed, loving, and sometimes even funny. We've been hanging out a lot together lately. It seems I really need them around these days.

This is a sermon that I preached (Yes! From an actual pulpit!) after establishing my kinship with Faith and Hope and rekindling my reliance on God and His Sovereignty.

*This post will officially be my longest, but go ahead and try to summarize 18 months of your life-it's tough! Please forgive the summary of Job's life, but he has an entire book in the Bible; read it if you need to know more.

Thank you notes to God
March 8, 2009
Martha Brown United Methodist Church

Scripture Reading:
1 Thessalonians 5 16-18 Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Have you ever given a gift to someone and seen their face fall because it wasn’t what they asked for? I imagine that God feels this pain all of the time.
I’ve never been too good with thank you notes. I’m sure that my mother raised me to write them, but I’ve just never been that good with the follow-through.
Recently, I heard from a couple, Jason and Anna, about the bowls I gave them for their wedding approximately ten years ago. I doubt that these bowls were on their wedding registry. I’m guessing that when they opened that gift, they were probably disappointed to find that it wasn’t the china pattern they asked for, or the bath towels embellished with their new monogram. Their response was probably, “Oh, wow, bowls.” I feel sure that they thanked me for the gift at the time, probably saying how it was a great gift and that they would use often. But now, that gift of bowls has become something they use on a weekly basis. They have been durable and functional gifts. Anna and Jason seem to truly appreciate those bowls.
So I started thinking about how much more sincere a thank-you note would be after you learned to appreciate the gift that was given to you.

Story of Job
Job was a very wealthy man. He had land, farm animals, a wife, children, and extended family.
Satan asks God if Job fears anything. God says that Job is a blameless and upright believer.
Satan challenges that it is because God had blessed him significantly. Satan tells God that if Job loses everything, he would probably curse God to His face. Satan takes EVERYTHING-his land, farm animals, wife, children, grandchildren, servants, all of it.
Job responds to this devastation by saying, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Satan dares God again that if Job’s actual flesh is affected, then he will begin to curse God. Satan does this to Job. He covers his body with oozing painful sores. In fact, the Bible says that it was so painful that Job took broken clay pots and scraped at the sores. After many hours and days of discomfort, Job eventually curses the day he was born. Job begs God to alleviate his suffering and pain, but seemingly, God doesn’t answer. The Book of Job goes on to describe a discussion between Job and two other men regarding his tribulations. Eventually Job is healed, and all of his wealth is returned. He is blessed beyond belief with a new family and anything he could ever want. In the last chapter, after his many trials, Job offers up a thank-you note to God.
Job 42: 2-5
I know that you can do all things. No plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, “Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?” Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
You said, “Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me. My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.

I’m certainly not comparing myself to Job, but I have some experience in asking God for things and not receiving them. We all have wish lists that we offer up to God. We may not write it out and put it in the mailbox, but we definitely know what we want, right?
Over the course of my life, I’ve wanted a lot.
When I was little, I wanted rain boots and a coat to match.
I wanted to live in a neighborhood with lots of kids around instead of on a rural farm.
I wanted to go to the University of Georgia even though my dad wanted me at Jacksonville State.
I wanted a teaching job.
I wanted a husband.
The list goes on and on.
Some of these things I received from God, and some of them I didn’t.

Well, in August of 2005, I decided that I wanted a child. Geoff and I were looking forward to beginning a family right here in East Atlanta Village.
I lifted this request to heaven and asked God to grant it.
The following months brought disappointment. It seemed that God didn’t add this gift to my list. So I made a big point to be very straightforward with Him. I reminded Him that I always wanted to be a mother. I even threw in a few reminders to Him that I would certainly commit the baby to His care as soon as he or she arrived.
God must have said no, because the following months brought even more heartache.
After a year, the heartache turned to despair, frustration, and anger. While I was thrilled for those friends and acquaintances around me who were being blessed by babies, I was angry with God for not granting me the same.
It was during this time, that as Martha Brown United Methodist’s children’s council chairperson, I was asked to help prepare a nursery for the church. No one at Martha Brown knew of my ungranted gift. I agreed with a smile on my face, but when I got home, I fell to my knees in tears to ask God why He would ask this of me in the middle of this anguish that I was feeling. He told me to push forward, but I was not thankful. In fact, I was angry and distraught.
By December of 2006, I was not a fun person to live with. (Too bad my husband, Geoff, left for Puerto Rico this morning and can’t chime in with specific examples. I’m sure he has plenty!) All of my prayers were about having a child. I found it more and more difficult to be thankful to God for all of the gifts he HAD blessed me with over the last year and a few months. After a particularly big emotional explosion, I saw my reflection in a mirror, and I realized who I had become, and I wasn’t pleased. I fell to my knees once again, this time to beg for forgiveness for being oblivious to the many blessings around me.
God assured me that night of His forgiveness, and He threw it into the Sea of Forgotten sins. I began to focus on the joys in my life-my family, my friends, my job, my 5th grade coworkers, my church family, and my wonderfully humorous, loving, forgiving, husband. I also began training for a half-marathon in January of 2007 in order to give myself a goal on which to focus.
At that point, I changed from a someone who spewed a lot of rhetoric about trusting in God to a woman who was simply trusting God, as my Father who loved me and intended to bless me with the gifts from His list, not mine.
In the beginning of February, Martha Brown dedicated the Firefly Nursery that I had helped put together. I had tears in my eyes that morning, but I was happy and content with the life that God had given me.
Two days later, on February 13th, I found out that Geoff and I were expecting Baby Butterbean. The first thing I did? I fell to my knees in tears, once again, and thanked God first and foremost for the lessons he had taught me over the previous 18 months. Then, of course, I thanked Him for that precious tiny baby and I woke up my sleeping husband.
A few days later, we held our Ash Wednesday service here at Martha Brown. That night, David Collins, our pastor, passed out index cards, on which to write what was on our hearts.
This is the actual thank-you note I wrote to God on that night:
2-21-07
Thank you, Father, for the faith and hope that you have been building within me over the past eighteen months. I am so grateful for the journey that I have taken with you. Forgive me for doubting your plans for me. Please use me as a witness. Help me communicate with others. Give others the same hope and strength that You granted me with. Thank you for my loving and humorous husband and my supportive family. Thank You!

There are thank-you notes at the end of your pews. Please take one and pass them on. We will have a few moments to write a thank-you note to God if you are so moved.

Then, during the Hymn of Invitation, please feel free to bring your note to the altar if you’d like and someone will pray over them after the service.